I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
