I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
