I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
