We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
