Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I will pee on everything he values.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
