so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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