yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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