isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
