No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
