I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
