Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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