If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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