Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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