so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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