No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm getting married
To pizza
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
