hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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