The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
