If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
