I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
