you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
