He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
