My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
