True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
