I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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