I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
