His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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