Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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