You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
