I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
