Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I think I won the penis lottery.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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