So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
