I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
