i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
