Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
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