were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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