he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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