Where did you get a picture of my penis
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
