were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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