I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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