I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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