Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
