just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
