it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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