I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
