dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
