Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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