a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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