Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
