just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
