Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
