How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
