Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
